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Ariane Benefit, ADD, ADHD Coach, Professional Organizer  NJ, NY, PA

Ariane Benefit, M.S.Ed.
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(Based in NJ, NYC Area)
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Learning from Overcoming Welfare and Poverty Culture

By Ariane Benefit

Ariane Benefit, ADD Coach, Business Coach, Organizing Coach, Life Coach

Originally published by Ariane Benefit on Joyful Jubilant Learning, October 15, 2008

Blog Action Day 2008 was about creative ways to make an impact to end poverty. I contributed by sharing my personal experience with what it was like working to end poverty in my own life. (I also wrote a post on my Neat & Simple Living blog!)

_______________________________

Growing up as the oldest of 5 kids with a divorced mother on welfare gave me an intimate knowledge of what it's like to have little money and even worse, little hope. That's why the topic on Poverty has resonated with me so strongly.

I was born in 1959. During the 60's and 70's, the town I grew up in, Brockton, Massachusetts, turned from a middle-class town with active factories and a vibrant downtown into a very poor, gang-ridden place that today, I can barely stand to even drive through - it breaks my heart.

It was tough when I grew up there. But today, it's beyond tough. The downtown is mostly boarded up: lined with homeless shelters and other service agencies desperately trying to stop the decay. It stands as a huge physical reminder of the devastating effects of poverty and what life could have been like for me. 

But it didn't turn out that way. Today I'm a homeowner with no credit card debt and I actually have a retirement fund! Not a huge one, mind you, but there is something in there.  Even though it has lost nearly 30% of it's value over the last couple weeks...on paper anyway, I still feel incredibly lucky and grateful every day of my life to even have one.

Today I'm going to write about what it was like for me on the way out, "Poverty Culture" in the U.S., and offer ideas on ways we all can act locally to make a difference and help people overcome poverty.

Some people think lack of money is the most challenging aspect of povery, but it's not. For me and for many others "Poverty culture" is by far the biggest hurdle to overcome.

What I mean by Poverty Culture is:

"the mindset, values, self-perception, and social norms
people develop while living in poverty."

  (You can learn more about it in an incredibly insightful book by Ruby K. Payne called "A Framework for Understanding Poverty.")

An individual's sense of identity is significantly shaped by how they are perceived and treated by others. Think about it.  What "lessons" do poor individuals "learn" about themselves from media coverage of poverty? 

Think about what might be learned from the actions of good intentioned people who want to "help" but don't really understand how to help. Often, the media depict the poor as "needy" "incapable" "pitiable" "lazy" "unintelligent" etc. and, without realizing it, good intentioned people are subconsciously treating poor people they encounter on a daily basis that way.  It often creates unintended consequences as poor people see the "helper" as being "condescending" "holier than thou" and therefore start to equate "success" as becoming "like them." 

As a kid, I experienced a constant sense of disdain, pity, prejudice, and even fear from many people.  The kind that people have for people who are different from them - and they don't even realize how they hurt people. I felt it from kids at school, friend's parents, teachers, people at church, people in stores, etc. I couldn't afford to dress well. I had a thick, lower class Massachusetts accent. It was quite obvious to everyone around me that I was poor and I got treated that way. People would be genuinely shocked when they would look past all that and get to know me and realize that even though I was poor I was also quite resourceful and intelligent. Even so, some parents would not let their kids be friends with me because I wasn't "the right kind" of people. Some teachers would not understand how hard it was for me to do homework where I lived.   

As part of this systemic "shunning" I developed a very strong value - I vowed to never "become like them."  Many of my friends, and myself, whole-heartedly believed that people with money were condescending, untrustworthy, judgemental, cold and heartless.  Is it any wonder there was so much peer pressure NOT to become "like them?"

So when I chose to go to college, even though I still didn't have a lot of money, I gradually lost most of my friends - I was becoming one of "them."  They could sense it. I gradually lost my accent, I cared about different things, had different kinds of problems. Instead of lamenting that I could not even get a credit card or car loan, I was acquiring middle class debt.

They couldn't relate to my problems anymore. They had no frame of reference to understand the things I needed to talk about. My values gradually changed as I chose to do school work instead of party with the gang.  Little things like that changed everything.  Nothing prepared me for the heartbreaking loss of my "safety" network of best friends.  Or for the isolation I constantly felt as an outsider my first years in the world of college and later in my first years in the corporate world. It was an intense culture shock as I had to figure out how to fit in and learned to hide where I came from because of how differently it caused people to treat me. Along the way, though, what got me through was a handful of incredibly supportive counselors and mentors who knew how to help me let go of my past, change my worldview and take charge of my life. A handful of friends who accepted me in spite of my lack of understanding about social graces such as how to write a Thank You note, and many other differences. They helped me learn how to fit in.

Writing about it now actually feels like an act of liberation and cartharsis. I hope that if you had the privilege of growing up in financial security that you are inspired to modify your assumptions about people not in your social class.  I hope you are reflecting on how you interact with people . Is there someone you may have shunned because they are different?

Even your smallest decisions at work, school, and at the voting polls may be contributing to the perpetuation of poverty culture.  In many ways, the poverty "culture" is powerfully self-perpetuating. In this country, poverty is deeply systemic.  It is created and perpetuated by our economic, taxation, and regulatory system which favors the wealthy getting wealthier every step of the way.
(Learn more about causes of poverty and related statistics.)

Our political and economic systems favor those who:

  • know how to "get around the system"
  • grew up with a "connected" social network
  • had parents who could show them the "unwritten rules" of social behavior and how to succeed. (I was lucky enough to be mentored by people in the corporate world who taught me these still unwritten rules. Whose teaching people who aren't being groomed for upper management positions?"

Overcoming poverty means that the people who "have" must share those secrets. They must also make concessions on a much deeper level than just handing out money.
That's why welfare didn't work.

In the beginning, welfare was punishingly humiliating for recipients. If you've ever had to pay for food with food stamps you know exactly what I mean.  Then in the next generation, welfare turned into a sense of "entitlement".  It began to be a way of life instead instead of ladder out of poverty.

When you go to vote think about how unregulated and de-regulated capitalism has created the current financial crisis and is a core contributor to systemic poverty.

Unregulated capitalism can only thrive if someone, somewhere is poor, uneducated, and can be taken advantage of by those who have the power to prey upon the weak.

It plunders the earth and it plunders human beings. It is not sustainable. The corporate greed and violation of ethics so rampant in the US today attest to this.

When the trend to deregulate telecommunications and banking started in the 80's everyone talked about how much more "choice" it would bring to the American "consumer".  I've learned a lot about "choice" since then.  The subtext of "choice" that it means you have to make thousands of decisions every day!  It has turned us into a nation of consumers obsessed with researching purchases to make sure we get the most features at the best price.

The amount of time that consuming takes up in our lives is tragic. Where religion at one time was called the "opiate" of the masses, today "consuming" takes on that role. 

We are working harder for less value, and we are distracted from what is going on in the world. Overwhelmed with all the choices I have to make, even a trip to the grocery store today can fill me with dread.  It's so easy to get sucked in.  Trying to make healthy choices is a nightmare for an intelligent person, imagine if you are poor and not educated enough to resist all the intense marketing out there trying to get you to buy things that not only you don't need, but that are BAD for you!    

So what can you as an individual do to make a difference in overcoming poverty?

Vote to regulate corporations. Help make Social Responsibility, Ethics, and Environmentally Sustainable business practices just as important as making a profit. Why should it be a law that ALL publicly held corporations have to make a profit? To learn more:  View The Corporation

Make it easier for everyone to get good nutrition. Take action to encourage your local government to ban foods with transfat like NYC and Boston have done. Support banning unhealthy foods from our schools. At least help make sure your schools idea of a lunch program isn't hosting a McDonald's in the school.

Support laws requiring HONEST, FULL DISCLOSURE, ACCURATE FOOD LABELING in grocery stores and restaurants. Deceptive food labeling practices today are rampant.  Did you know there are hundreds of chemical sweeters that are far worse for you than sugar, but can be added to your food and the label can still say "Sugar-Free"? Why should you need to take hours of classes in nutrition just to understand what you are really eating and buying?

Support access to basic healthcare for everyone. Learn the truth about how other country's healthcare programs work.  Don't just listen to the rhetoric fed to you by politicians. After all, insurance companies are really just a smaller form of socialized healthcare. The trouble is that LEGALLY, their number one responsibility is to MAKE A PROFIT for shareholders- NOT to keep you healthy. They need to be regulated and measure their success by better standards than profit. "The United States is the only wealthy, industrialized nation that does not provide universal health care"  and we are also one of the least healthy nations in the world.  What is wrong with this picture?

Personally Mentor kids at risk to break the cycle of poverty.  Many high schools and business have mentoring programs.  If yours doesn't, perhaps start one! And there are many mentoring programs you can access online as well such as Amazing Kids - Amazing Mentors or Best Kids which hooks mentors up with kids in foster homes.

Consider volunteering with a local children's aid program.  Maybe even become a foster parent or adopt a child.  I volunteered for Children's Aid and Family Services by creating and delivering a 10 week program for kids aging out of the group foster care system to teach them life skills like how to get and manage a checking account, budget to pay bills, how to manage credit, what employers look for, how to act on an interview, how to keep a job, etc. I helped each of them write a resume by reflecting  on their past accomplishments.  It was stunning how none of them had ever looked at themselves in such a positive light before.  They were sooo uncomfortable with writing a resume!  They started out resenting the heck out of me (I knew they would) but by the end they were hugging me and crying, letting me see their vulnerable side.  If you can get past their prejudices and believe in them without pitying them, you can truly help empower them.

If you work in the corporate world, there is much you could do. For example, make it easier for poor and disadvantaged people to get past all the barriers to employment that are in place in many companies. Hold seminars for prospective employees on how to present themselves in an interview instead of just ruling them out. Instead of requiring people to come in with wonderful resumes, develop an outreach program to mentor people in how to develop one. Perhaps develop intern programs for poor kids to get work experience. Take a look around at the low paying jobs in your organization.  What can be offered to help them earn more? 

Offer sliding scale services. As a service professional (such as my fellow professional organizers and organizing coaches) you can offer a sliding scale fee to low income parents or children.  You can offer free educational opportunities to people who need it most.

Don't have time for any of the above? 

Support people who do have time!  Use Charity Navigator to make sure the charities you contribute to are really effective. Some of my favorite charities include:


There are many ways to make a difference in the world. But there is only one way to get started. You must choose how you wish to take action. Then, make it a compelling priority. Make the tough decisions needed to clear away the time clutter in your life so that you can make time for what's truly important to you. That's what I help people do every day! : )

 

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